It’s funny how life can get someone so turn around sometimes. At times, I feel like I’m running forward with so much endurance, and other times I feel like my feet are stuck in mud becoming stagnant. I like how Bro. Mark Morgan puts it, ” We are like pieces on God chess board, He can move us forward, backward, and even lateral sometimes.”
Recently, God has been dealing with me about having so many fears. I recently heard a message preached at my church by Bro. Doug Walker, and although his message wasn’t particularly on fear he somewhat addressed a few fears I have personally. One of those great fears I have is missing God’s divine will for my life. Bro. Walker addressed being hurt by things or people, and then allowing fear to paralyze you from ever stepping out or trusting anyone again because that certain thing failed. A lot of people may relate, but this is a serious fear that I have that I feel actually holds me back from walking in God’s will and purposes sometimes. At times, I’m so scared of not being in God’s will that I never step out in faith. I heard my Aunt Sis. Dillon say once, ” You can analyze a situation so much that you actually miss the will of God.”
I was faced with a hard decision recently, and I was extremely indecisive and confused. I wasn’t sure what the will of God was, or what road to take. I was so scared that if I made the wrong decision, I would live with regret the rest of my life knowing I missed the will of God. As you can imagine, I felt like I was weighed down with a million bricks. I absolutely felt fear disabling me to make this decision.
Battling with this for several weeks I sat down one night, and began to cry out to God seeking an answer on what decision I should make. All sorts of things was running through my mind as I felt the fear, anxiety, and depression begin to oppress. I then felt the peace of God sweep through the room as God reminded me of a message I heard a few years ago. In the message, the preacher said, ” Even when you don’t know God’s will, you still know his ways.” Oh! What a comforting peace that is! Even when I don’t know what His will is, I know what God expects from me in those confusing times. He expects us to love Him, to serve, to read his word, spend time with him in prayer and fasting. However, those thoughts of fear tried to grip my mind again as I prayed, ” I’m doing all those things Jesus, and I still don’t have a direct answer for my problem,” God replied, ” That’s okay because of Romans 8:28.”
Sometimes we have to take a step of faith, even if it leads to a mistake or us falling. I made that difficult decision totally trusting in God that even if it was wrong, He would make it right in the end. Sometimes you just have to do that, and totally trust things in the hand of God. I know! It’s so incredibly scary, but that’s where grace comes in, and trusting that God really wants the best for his children. His perfect will be accomplished in our lives as long as we stay following Him!
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28 ESV